Sunday, August 2, 2009

Flip flopping around

I decided to end a beautiful Sunday by taking a walk around the block. I wasn't going far, so I slipped into some flip flops... my wife says flip flops are ruining my feet (she's probably right, but, shrug).

Our block isn't really a block. There are two cul de sacs, and bordering one side is a cornfield that's been declared an endangered species due to urban expansion.

So I flip flopped my way to the end of the street and started walking the 100 yards bordered by tall, wonderful corn ... probably filled with rattle snakes and other fun stuff.

Anyway, as I walked down the road, enjoying the evening sun against my baldspot, I saw an empty cigarette pack. Marlboro

I know what you're thinking. "Did he pick it up?"

No, I'm a troll. I mean I would have liked to pick it up, but frankly, there was trash all along the road. Cans, bottles, cigarette packs, fast food refuse. My hands would have been filled within just a few yards.

We live near some very rural roads, and people would much rather toss something out of their window than have to deal with finding a trash receptacle later. Or worse, if they're out drinking some beer while driving, it's always better to get rid of the evidence in case they are pulled over.

Back to the cigarette pack.

Instead of picking it up, I counted it.

Marlboro 1

Then I saw an empty pack of Kools.

Marlboro 1 - Kools 1

And I kept count as I walked along the road.

Marlboro 2 - Kools 1

Marlboro 3 - Kools 1

Etc. Etc.

The final count was 4 packs of Marlboro, 2 packs of Kools, 4 packs other.

I don't know what it is about cigarette smokers where so many of them just feel compelled to treat the world as their ashtray or trashcan. You know how often I see someone let their car window down, just so they can flip the butt onto the street? I just wonder what this person's ashtray looks like - an ashtray that just happens to come with the car, mind you ... at no extra cost.

I'll bet it's pristine. Never seen an ash.

There are exceptions to this, though. I've seen proof. More than once, I've seen where someone simply emptied their ashtray onto a parking lot, leaving a mound of butts, gum and ashes for someone to step into.

Ah, well. Who am I to criticize?

Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to count Bud against Miller beer cans during my walk.



  1. Yeah, they can't dirty those ashtrays cuz that's where they keep the spare change!

    And if you're seriously going to start in on beer cans, may I humbly suggest one of those plastic "clickers" like our Moms used to take to the supermarket to tally up their purchases? I fear you may lose count otherwise.


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